Healthy relationships start way before you meet someone. In fact, knowing how to build a sustainable relationship starts with knowing how to practice self-love before a relationship begins.
When you love yourself, you accept yourself as you are, including your strengths, weaknesses, and even quirks you might see as flaws. Practicing self-love also means loving the person you see in the mirror and taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.
The thing is, saying you know you need to practice self-love is very different from doing it. Even with the best intentions, you might fall off the self-love wagon and think you’d love yourself more if you had a partner.
Unfortunately, this type of thinking usually leads to disappointment and can lower your self-esteem if things don’t work as planned.
And while it’s perfectly normal to feel less confident here and there, always feeling like you’re not good enough negatively impacts you and anyone you’re interested in.
Whether you’ve recently gone through a breakup or are just dipping your toes back into the dating pool, you need to love yourself first.
Read on to learn how practicing self-love will not only boost your self-confidence but also positively impact your love life as well.
- Working on self-love before starting a relationship can enhance personal growth, attract the right partners, and satisfy emotional needs.
- Low self-esteem and lack of self-love can sabotage even the best relationships, leading to rejection, distrust, and lack of appreciation.
- Self-love is vital for healthy relationships, serving as a foundation for acceptance and communication with a partner.
Table of Contents
Should You Love Yourself Before Getting Into a Relationship?
Yes! Because a lack of self-love ultimately sabotages even the best relationships. When you don’t love yourself, other people’s love never seems to add up. You’ll either reject people’s advances, think they’re lying, or never truly appreciate the love they’re offering.
You can’t accept the love you don’t feel worthy of receiving.
A lot of people think love is an emotion that’s only associated with how you feel about family, friends, and romantic partners. But there’s another type of love; a love so important that without it, your outside relationships may suffer if you aren’t capable of loving yourself.
Self-love means loving all of you unapologetically from head to toe. When you love yourself, you don’t need another person to validate your feelings or continually reassure you that you’re worthy of love.
This type of behavior, even when you don’t intend it to be, is toxic. Not only does it make you feel bad about yourself, but it can also be emotionally draining for your partner.
Why? Because relying on someone else to fill your needs just doesn’t work. A healthy relationship requires both partners to love themselves, so they can fully accept one another.
The Science of Self Love
How you feel about yourself has a direct impact on your external relationships. In fact, studies show that low levels of self-esteem and confidence can negatively affect relationship satisfaction.
When you feel unworthy or bad about yourself, these insecurities can change the way you interact with your partner. Both of you may start to feel tension when together; you feel like they’re not meeting your needs and they feel like it’s impossible to do so.
Self-Love and Its Impact on Relationships
When you practice self-love and are in the right headspace, it opens the door for others to do the same.
Being “in love” with yourself makes it easier for others to love you unconditionally and allows you to truly enjoy the feeling of being loved without thinking you need to improve.
When two people love themselves, you can openly communicate without feeling threatened by the other person’s perspective. You don’t need them to agree with you to know that they care, and when you do have differing opinions, it doesn’t feel like the entire relationship is in jeopardy.
What’s more, self-love allows you to stay true to who you are no matter what. You don’t lose your values, boundaries, or personal interests because you’re in a relationship.
Negative Impact of Lack of Self-Love in Relationships
When you dislike yourself, feel insecure, or feel negative about yourself in any way, it can be hard to let others in. As much as you want to, you might feel like you’re waiting for something bad to happen or that your partner will start finding things wrong with you.
You can also find yourself being clingy, constantly needing validation from your partner, and feeling like you’re always waiting for something bad to happen. You may often be suspicious of their intentions, accuse them of cheating, or find ways to “test” their love that ultimately ruins the relationship.
Taking the time to work on yourself before getting into a new relationship can be therapeutic. Personal development allows you to see yourself in ways you’ve never thought possible. When you’re happy with yourself, you attract the right kind of people.
It also teaches you how to meet your own emotional needs before expecting someone else to do so. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. If you can’t meet your own needs, how could anyone else?
The Love You Have For Yourself is The Most Important
There will always be a lot of questions and what-ifs when you start dating or get into a new relationship. Regardless of what your questions are, should you love yourself before getting into a relationship should never be one of them.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is self-love important before starting a relationship?
Self-love is important before starting a relationship because it prevents reliance on a partner for validation and emotional needs, promoting healthier, more sustainable relationships.
How can self-love improve my relationships?
Self-love can improve your relationships by fostering open communication, mutual understanding, and individuality in a relationship, reducing dependency, and enhancing relationship satisfaction.
What are the negative effects of a lack of self-love on relationships?
The negative effects of a lack of self-love on relationships include insecurity, the constant need for validation, tension, and even accusations towards your partner, all of which may ruin the relationship.
How can I build self-love?
You can start building self-love by first accepting your strengths and flaws unapologetically, taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and meeting your own needs.
What happens if I enter a relationship without sufficient self-love?
When you get into a relationship with a lack of self-love, it can lead you to reject others’ love, constant validation seeking, and emotional strain, potentially sabotaging relationships.