How to Escape a Narcissistic Family? My Guide to Your Safety

You’ve been struggling to live with your narcissistic family for a long time and things don’t seem to get better.

You finally made the difficult decision to escape your narcissistic family. But how?

I can feel the pain, doubts, and worries going through your head. I have been there too.

All the difficult experiences that I went through taught me the important lessons that I will share with you today on how to escape a narcissistic family.

  • Recognizing the signs of a toxic family is the first step to starting your escape and healing journey.
  • Let go of your fears of making difficult choices like detaching yourself from your family and changing your environment.
  • Focus on healing from emotional scars through self-discovery and rebuilding your self-worth. Every journey is unique so be patient.

Signs You Need to Escape Your Narcissistic Family

The first step in dealing with your narcissistic family is to recognize the toxic signs. Sometimes the signs are just so obvious like they’re practically screaming at you, but they can be sneaky little manipulations that might look “normal” to you as the scapegoat child.

Here are some of the signs that you’re in a toxic environment with a narcissistic family:

  • You’re emotionally drained all the time: Living in the same house with a narcissist felt like carrying an emotional backpack filled with rocks. Now, I realized I deserved more so I started distancing myself emotionally.
  • You start losing your sense of self and identity: As I gave into my narcissistic mother’s expectations, I started blending into the background. It was like being in an identity crisis, questioning who I was outside of my family’s judgments.
  • You feel trapped in a never-ending cycle of abuse: Every day, I feel like I’m on a carousel that never stopped, each revolution more dizzying than the last. My daily routine was taking all the hurtful words they told me and accepting the blame for things I never did.
  • Anxiety and depression have become your constant companions: Living with anxiety gave a sense of unease and fear. Depression made me feel that even the simplest tasks are overwhelming and draining.
  • Even your physical health takes a hit: The stress from my narcissistic parent affected my mental well-being which caused me a lot of sleepiness nights. It was like my body was sending distress signals.
  • You’re full of self-doubt: I was questioning every decision I made. It was like being in a constant game of self-sabotage.
  • They keep taking your hard-earned assets and possessions: My mother was always asking for money from my siblings the moment we started to work and from my dad as well even though they’re divorced. She thinks everyone owes her for something and I don’t know what.

How to Escape a Narcissistic Family?

How I escaped from my narcissistic family and found my identity is a journey of resilience and self-discovery. Their narcissistic personality left me with so much pain and it took me years to recover.

Slowly Distance Yourself

Setting boundaries is a great way to assert yourself and take control. You are not just suddenly closing the door.

Instead, you are making room for your emotional well-being.

I decided to gradually distance myself from my narcissistic parent and set boundaries because I didn’t feel safe around them anymore. It was challenging at first, but it was necessary for my own peace and happiness.

I no longer allow myself to be manipulated or taken advantage of, and I am creating a healthier relationship dynamic for myself. Setting boundaries has allowed me to take control of my life and avoid having to deal with her narcissistic personality disorder.

As you start this emotional marathon, just a friendly reminder to be kind to yourself along the way. It’s like talking to yourself and boosting your spirits at every checkpoint.

You’re not just keeping your distance. You’re actually taking back that space for yourself to grow and heal.

Change Your Environment

Moving to a new place, whether it’s just across town or to a whole new town, is such an exciting opportunity to discover new things in your own life.

Imagine having a blank canvas where you can paint the masterpiece of your own story. No one knows about your past or your narcissistic family.

I did not think that it was possible to be loved and cared for, not treated as their scapegoat. Soon, I found happiness in the new home with my husband and son.

Embrace the opportunity to start fresh, explore new perspectives, and discover what life has to offer beyond your narcissistic family.

Hustle Hard to Stand On Your Own Feet

Trying to stand on your own two feet is kind of like putting together your own team of superheroes.

I thought it would be a good idea to learn some new skills. I signed up for online courses and went to workshops to improve my personal and professional skills.

I improved my communication and public speaking skills, as well as learned professional skills that are related to my hobbies.

Not only did this boost my confidence, but it also opened up new opportunities for me. It gave me the financial independence that I also needed to break free.

The journey of children of narcissistic parents can bring some challenges but remember that each hurdle you face is just another stepping stone towards your goals.

The difficult path you are in only makes you stronger, wiser, and braver than you already are.

Being able to stand up for yourself may be something you are manifesting now. One day, you wouldn’t expect it, but it will come true!

Don’t Take Things Personal, Focus on Yourself

Dealing with all those criticisms and manipulations from an abusive parent can really mess with your head, right? The key to winning is just staying true to who you are.

It was so tough for me because I had to deal with a lot of hatred from my narcissistic family members daily.

Instead of letting those words define me, I put a stop to my mother’s unloving treatments and verbal abuse.

I faced a lot of psychological and emotional troubles. It really affected my mental health but by focusing on myself, it was a good start for me.

Do things that make you happy, like painting, hiking, or even just dancing around in your living room. Try new things and I’m telling you, sometimes you’re going to fail but that is how you learn.

This is all about your journey of self-discovery. It is completely yours and no one can tell you what’s wrong or right.

Think of their words like passing clouds. They’re temporary and don’t have the power to define the sunshine within you.

Craft an Escape Plan that Fits Your Situation

When making my escape plan, I thought about how much money and emotional strength I had in me. It felt like getting ready for a thrilling adventure, gathering all the supplies I needed for the journey ahead.

An escape plan isn’t just about physically getting out of a situation. It’s actually a comprehensive strategy that takes into account your emotional well-being too.

So make sure to consider all aspects when planning your escape. And don’t ever forget – you’re not alone in this! 

Assess your financial and emotional resources, seeking legal advice if needed. Plan for a gradual or immediate exit, considering practical aspects such as securing a place to stay and asking for support from friends or support groups.

Jot Down What You Need to Do to Build Who You Want to Be

Since a narcissistic parent needs to have a scapegoat to feel better for themselves, a scapegoat child sometimes struggles to answer the question “tell me about yourself, your likes and dislikes.”

You need to build who you want to be if you want to truly recover from narcissistic abuse.

My mother was a narcissist who failed to achieve her dream. A narcissistic parent has to scapegoat. So she constantly told me that I wasn’t good enough, ugly and I won’t amount to anything in life.

Start with the big picture. What kind of life do you want for yourself? 

Then, break it down into smaller tasks and celebrate each one as a win.

Perhaps you’ve been dreaming about picking up a new skill or making genuine connections. When you create this roadmap, you’re not just setting goals, you’re actually cultivating a sense of purpose.

Break down your goals into manageable tasks. Celebrate your wins to feel fulfilled so that you can keep the momentum going.

Healing From the Emotional Scars of Cutting Ties With Narcissistic Family

Leaving a toxic family situation like having a narcissistic parent takes a lot of courage, but it’s important to remember that the journey doesn’t stop there.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse must focus on healing from the emotional scars to carry on with their lives.

Recovering and taking care of your mental health is important. If you feel like you need it, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for help.

This journey is all about rebuilding your self-worth and finding your way back to forming healthy relationships.

Healing takes time, so it’s fine to take things one step at a time. You are unique and your story is different from mine, so you can not compare your progress with mine.

It’s a journey, but one that’s definitely worth taking. It’s all about finding a way to break free from the emotional scars that might have been ingrained in us after years of manipulation.

The Path to Your Happier Self Starts With You

You’re so much more awesome than you think you are. It’s great that you’re realizing the importance of breaking free from a narcissistic family.

But remember, the path to your happier self starts with you.

And if you’re in that phase where your sense of self feels a bit blurry, take this guide and follow the steps that I did. Rediscover what makes you uniquely you, whether it’s dancing in the rain or belting out your favorite tunes in the car.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can your narcissistic family change?

Unfortunately, change in them is like waiting for a unicorn – it’s unlikely. Focus on what you can control, your healing and growth.

Is it okay to cut ties with your narcissistic family?

Absolutely, it’s not just okay; it’s an act of self-love. Trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being.

Can you heal from the emotional scars of narcissistic family abuse?

Yes, you can. I’ve been there, and with time, therapy with a licensed professional, and a supportive community, the wounds do start to mend.

How can you rebuild your sense of self-worth and identity after escaping your narcissistic family?

Start small by doing the following: celebrate your victories, rediscover your passions, and surround yourself with positive influences. You’re not rebuilding alone; I’ve been there, too.

What can you expect after cutting ties with your narcissistic family?

Initially, expect a mix of relief and uncertainty. But with time, you’ll find peace, rediscover yourself, and build a life that aligns with your authentic self.

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