Are you trying to learn how to love yourself and be confident with who you are?
Well, from personal experience, I can say that this is easier said than done. When you’re caught in a low self-esteem spiral, it can be hard to just “flip a switch” and suddenly become a person brimming with self-esteem and effortless self-love.
But I have a secret to share: you don’t have to radically change who you are to bring more confidence and self-love into your life. Instead, focus on making small intentional changes each and every day.
It won’t feel like much at first. But if you can stay committed, you’ll notice that you’re suddenly making leaps and bounds.
You may find yourself standing up for yourself in situations that you’ve previously shied away from, or catch yourself staring in the mirror and liking what you see.
So let go of those unrealistic expectations for change, take my hand, and let’s build your newfound confidence one step at a time.
- Loving yourself and being confident promote your life’s experiences and allow you to tap into fulfilling relationships, career success, and overall well-being.
- By implementing small, daily changes in your life, such as improving your inner dialogue, practicing gratitude, and letting go of any comparisons you may have, can gradually build your confidence and love for yourself.
- Having a healthy lifestyle involving regular exercise, a balanced diet, and maintaining a clean environment can greatly contribute to boosting your self-esteem and promoting a sense of your self-worth.
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How to Love Yourself and Be Confident?
Now that you have an idea of what awaits you once you grow your confidence and learn to love yourself, we’re going to talk about actionable.
Here are my personal 20 sure-fire daily practices you can embrace that will help you to fall in love with yourself.
Just trying out one item on the list has the power to completely change how you see yourself.
So let’s get started!
1. Eat Healthy Food, You Can’t Think Clearly With Burgers and Fries
As we all know, eating well is the basis of our well-being. We truly are what we eat. And it’s well known that healthy eating improves our cognitive functioning, so we should see our food as literal fuel for our thoughts, emotions, and energy levels.
I love a good slice of pizza or scoop of ice cream as much as the next person looking for a break and treat in this busy world. But the truth is, the benefits are short-lived, and it actually makes me feel worse about myself afterward.
So next time you go to grab a treat, ask yourself, “Will I feel better about myself after I eat this?” If the answer is no, put it back and find a whole food supplement, or simply drink a glass of water to reduce cravings.
2. Be Active, Healthy Mind Starts With a Healthy Body
Do you feel a constant anxiety from life hitting you in all directions? To be perfectly honest, I do. Sitting long hours working takes a toll on my body and mental health, which can make me feel bad about my body and sluggish in my mind.
The solution? Get active! The best part about a movement practice is that it can literally look like anything. A walk, a workout, a hike, or even cleaning in your home.
I get the most benefits from being active first thing in the morning. No, I don’t like to move my stiff body first thing in the morning.
But 20 to 30 minutes after my workout, I feel like I’ve broken through and won the day – before I’ve even done any of the tasks on my to-do list! An easy win that has infinite benefits that will build self-confidence.
3. Change Your Inner Dialogue, Stop Saying Things That Are Not True
Did you know that you talk to yourself all day long? It’s true! And you may not even notice it. Unfortunately, our internal scripts tend to be negative. Perhaps we are inwardly judging others, running through doomsday scenarios, or putting ourselves down.
The solution to this issue is to become aware of the things we are saying to ourselves. One of the best ways to do this is through meditation, the practice of observing our thoughts.
Even 5 minutes of quieting down and listening to ourselves can have a huge impact on our thoughts.
Don’t get mad at the thoughts you’re having, simply observe them.
This is a powerful practice in self-love that helps us to move on to more positive internal dialogues.
4. Accept Compliments, Yes! You Deserve it, We All Do
Has someone ever told you, “Hey, your hair looks nice today”, and you responded with a self-deprecating comment about how you can’t control the frizz? I’ve been there.
Challenge yourself to respond to every compliment with a “thank you” and a warm smile. It will feel foreign at first, but when you stop yourself from finding the negative in compliments, you learn how to accept them and love them over time, which is a big confidence boost.
5. Speak Up, Your Voice Matters
One of the most painful symptoms of low self-esteem and self-love is that we feel unheard in life. Because of how we see ourselves, we’re scared to interject our opinions.
Over time, this leads to some serious boundary issues, where people step over lines and we’re too afraid to say something.
So start speaking up! You don’t need to be confrontational or argumentative to speak your mind. In fact, simply speak to how you’re feeling in life.
Tired, happy, nervous, proud, it doesn’t matter – start sharing your truth with others in small ways to validate your thoughts and feelings.
6. Don’t Avoid Difficult Conversations, Lean Toward Them
I’m a people pleaser. I don’t like to rock the boat or cause a conflict, because I’m afraid someone won’t like me. But the problem with avoiding these types of dialogues is that I’m choosing the happiness of others over myself!
So throw caution to the wind and engage in conversations that are hard to have. It’s true, not everyone will like you for what you have to say. But that’s ok because it will remind you that you have your back and love yourself enough to engage in challenging moments.
7. Find a Happy Hobby, Think of That Little Child in You
Sometimes I get too stuck in my own head when it comes to my self-esteem. And the best way to switch into a healthier state is to go do something – anything! Is there a hobby, such as a craft or sport that you enjoy? Do you crave time to curl up with a book and a cup of herbal tea?
Give it to yourself, and give it to yourself on a regular basis. By learning about and enjoying things that interest us, we naturally become more confident about who we are.
8. Get Your Finances in Check, Work Toward Financial Freedom
Does money buy happiness? If you don’t have enough of it to cover your basic necessities, then yes, it does matter for your well-being. So take regular steps to make sure you’re financially secure. Not just for today, but for tomorrow as well. You can do this by starting a budget, investing a small amount of money, or cutting back on expenses.
Once you start to feel in control of your finances, you’ll notice that you value yourself and your life more.
9. Volunteer to Help Those in Need, Make Someone Day Better
We all have an innate desire to have a positive impact on the world and make it a better place. But if we don’t have enough confidence, we may feel intimidated by trying to do that. So let’s redefine what it means to help someone.
You don’t need to donate thousands of dollars or hundreds of hours to help others in need. You can call someone to offer support, spend a day or two helping at a shelter, or organize a small fundraiser for an individual or organization.
You’ll find that by extending love and support to others, it will train you to do it for yourself.
10. Clean Up Your Environment, No More Toxic People
Our environment has a much bigger effect on our well-being than we probably think. Be it your living room, workspace, or bedroom, it’s important to make sure this space is:
- Visually pleasing
- Customized to your personality
Take small steps each day to maintain and improve these spaces. They are an extension of you, and when you’re proud of them, you’re proud of yourself.
11. Give Yourself The High-Five Whenever You Do Well
Mel Robbins is famous for creating ridiculously simple yet effective techniques for better living. Do you find yourself struggling to make commitments or find motivation to do challenging things, from getting out of bed in the morning to making career changes?
Try the high-five habit. Simply look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a high-five. This seemingly easy practice will retrain your brain and make you more confident in yourself and your decisions.
12. Create a Strong Support System, Keep Them Close
While self-love and confidence come from within, a healthy and loving social life is crucial to sustaining this healthy state. Make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who care about you and put your well-being first.
Have toxic people in your life, or don’t feel close enough to others to be supported? Start cultivating a better community. Get involved with a local community, join an online group, or find a therapist or counselor for support.
13. Practice Gratitude, Be Thanksful and You’ll Have More
When we don’t love ourselves, it’s easy to focus on everything that is wrong. Challenge this belief by trying to find something you’re grateful for about yourself every day. It won’t feel natural at first, but after a week or so, you’ll be surprised at what comes up and how many things you do appreciate about yourself.
14. Redefine Your Failures, See Them as Lessons
One of the biggest obstacles to self-confidence is failure. After all, why would we feel good about ourselves if we haven’t succeeded in our goals?
The answer is simple – failure is a natural and guaranteed part of success and should be embraced on the path of achievement.
So the next time you fail, don’t see it as the end of the road. Instead, accept it as one step closer to your goals, and use it as a learning moment.
15. Take Breaks Throughout the Day
Burnout takes away the time and energy to be self-compassionate or self-loving. And the truth is, I say to myself all the time, “I don’t have the time to take a break”! But the truth is, I need to find the time to take a break.
So now I make it a non-negotiable to take moments of rest. This could be a short walk during the work day, enjoying a YouTube video about a favorite hobby, or even taking a nap if I got a bad night’s sleep.
Surrender to rest, and watch as your productivity skyrockets in the surrounding moments.
16. Let Go of Comparisons, You Don’t Know Everyone’s Situation
Have you ever felt fantastic about your progress, and then saw someone else doing way better than you, taking the wind out of your sails? This is a major confidence crusher.
So let go of comparison to others. The only person you should be competing with is yourself. Not only does this improve self-love, but it also helps us to be kinder to others and fully celebrate their wins as well as our own.
17. Travel to New Places
Sometimes, low confidence is all about having a limited and fixed mindset. We get stuck in our routines, our communities, and all of our stories about the world.
One great way to quickly and effectively gain a new perspective on the world (and yourself) is by going somewhere new. If you’re not a regular traveler, this may be more stressful than exciting, since we don’t have control in a new environment in the same way we do at home.
But trust me on this one – better things are waiting on the other side. And you’ll develop confidence that allows you to better handle uncertainty with a couple of epic trips under your belt.
18. Be Comfortable With Spending Time With Yourself
Spending time alone allows for self-reflection and understanding. It provides an opportunity to connect with your thoughts and feelings, understand your desires, and find peace within yourself.
It’s an essential aspect of self-love because it strengthens your relationship with yourself.
19. Add More Creativity to Your Life
Nothing breaks our patterns of insecurity like creativity does. It brings us back to a younger and more curious time when confidence and self-love were a natural part of life.
You don’t have to be an “artist” to be creative. There are so many ways you can mix things up, such as cooking a new meal for dinner, dressing up a different way, free writing, or doodling.
You can also participate in activities that make you feel more creative, such as an improv comedy workshop, or a hiking group that helps inspire you through nature.
20. Celebrate Your Accomplishments, No Matter How Small They Are
Finally, remember to celebrate! Even when you make small steps towards your goals, take a moment and say to yourself, “I really loved that I accomplished that” or “Even though I did a small thing, it was very personally meaningful”.
We love to be celebrated and rewarded by others, but waiting for approval isn’t necessary, we can have fun and appreciate ourselves without anyone else’s validation.
21. Don’t Believe Everything You See on Social Media
Excessive social media use can lead to unhealthy comparisons and dissatisfaction. By limiting your use, you protect your mental health and promote self-love.
It allows for more time to focus on yourself, your needs, and your real-life connections.
I like to use the app time limits on my iPhone to make sure I’m getting enough real-life me-time!
Why Loving Yourself and Being Confident Is Very Important?
The truth is, you’ve made it this far in life without having a lot of self-love and confidence in your life. So you may be wondering “Why should I change now” if you’ve gotten used to making it worthwhile with where you’re at.
Well, just because you’re functioning in your current state doesn’t mean it’s something you should settle for. When we don’t love ourselves and lack confidence, we’re blind to everything we’re missing in life.
Thriving relationships, ideal health, career success, and a connection with the world around us are all on the other side of embracing your confidence. We lose a passion for these important elements of life when we don’t feel good about ourselves.
But once we tap into our confidence, we remember how fortifying and powerful these positive experiences are.
The Role of Professional Help to Boost Your Confidence
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might find yourself stuck in negative patterns of thinking and feeling. And that’s okay. When this happens, seeking professional help can really make a difference. At least it did for me.
You see, therapy or getting help from a life coach isn’t just about working through problems, it’s about growing, understanding yourself better, and developing healthier ways of interacting with the world.
It’s like having a guide on your journey, someone who can provide insights, teach you new skills, and support you as you navigate your way through.
Different types of therapy can be useful, depending on your personal circumstances and what feels right for you.
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): is one common approach that helps you understand how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected. This understanding can empower you to challenge and change unhelpful thought patterns that might be hindering your self-love and confidence.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Rather than fighting or resisting difficult feelings, ACT teaches you how to accept these experiences, how to live in the present moment, and how to move towards your values. It’s a powerful way to build resilience and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
In terms of knowing when to seek professional help, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. But here’s something I always share with my clients: if your feelings of low self-esteem, lack of confidence, or unhappiness are starting to interfere with your daily life, work, or relationships, it may be a good time to reach out to a professional.
Unleash Your True Potential!
As you can see, in order to learn how to love yourself and be confident, you need to take the wheel and guide life in a direction that is supportive, nurturing, and most importantly, fun. This doesn’t have to be about changing everything all at once.
Learn how to trust and have faith in small actions and their impact over time.
You’ll be surprised by how quickly they add up!
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is it important to love yourself and be confident?
Loving oneself and having confidence allows for thriving relationships, career success, ideal health, and a better connection with the world around us.
What is the role of a healthy diet in developing self-confidence?
Eating healthily fuels our thoughts, emotions, and energy levels. When we make better food choices, it improves our cognitive functioning and self-esteem.
How does volunteering help in building self-love and confidence?
Volunteering helps us extend love and support to others, in turn training us to love and support ourselves, thereby boosting our confidence and self-esteem.
What’s the “High-Five Habit” and how does it help with confidence?
The “High-Five Habit” involves giving yourself a high-five in the mirror. It’s a simple yet effective technique to retrain your brain for confidence.
Why is it important to celebrate personal accomplishments?
Celebrating accomplishments helps reinforce positive self-perception and removes the need for external validation. It adds to self-love and boosts our confidence.