How To Stop Overthinking in a Long Distance Relationship? My Personal Takes

If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know how real the struggle can be.

Miles between you and your special someone can mean missing cuddles, movie nights, and all that good stuff.

The worst part? The overthinking monster whispering doubts in your ear. “Is he seeing someone else?” “Are we drifting apart?”

Yep, I’ve been there, and I totally get it. But I’m here to tell you that there is hope.

Below, I’m sharing the tricks I learned (and some stumbles along the way) to finally figure out how to stop overthinking in a long distance relationship.

  • Fight overthinking with regular communication, fulfilling hobbies, and trusting your partner. You’ll feel more secure and connected, even miles apart.
  • Focus on truly connecting with your partner. Deep conversations and video calls build a stronger bond than endless texts.
  • Healthy communication paves the way for a happy LDR. Talk about your anxieties, set clear expectations, and understand each other’s love languages.

How To Stop Overthinking in a Long Distance Relationship?

Long-distance relationships, or LDR for short, are tough, but it doesn’t have to mean constant overthinking!

Speaking from experience, it is possible to maintain a strong and solid romantic relationship even when you’re miles apart.

Here are practical tips that helped me tame the overthinking monster and actually enjoy our bond:

1. Establish a Routine for Regular and Open Communication

Picture waking up missing your partner like crazy, and you have zero idea when you’ll talk next. Yikes! That uncertainty can fuel some serious overthinking.

For me, the key was establishing a regular communication routine.

It doesn’t have to be every hour, but knowing there’s a dedicated time to connect, like a morning video call or a good night text, gave me a huge dose of reassurance.

Plus, it gives you something to look forward to! This way, you can avoid that anxious feeling of waiting by the phone and focus on your day knowing you’ll connect soon.

Think of it as scheduling mini-dates with your long-distance partner. It keeps the spark alive and helps you both feel connected, even across time zones.

2. Understand That Both of You Have Lives Outside the Relationship

In the beginning, I admit I might have been a little…clingy. But let’s be honest. When you miss someone like crazy, it’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting their constant attention.

Good thing, I realized that if you want a healthy relationship, you have to give each other space to thrive outside of your relationship.

After all, your partner doesn’t stop having hobbies, friends, and life just because you’re together.

Trust me, the more you encourage them to pursue their passions and interests, the more interesting things they’ll have to tell you when you connect.

And guess what? Having a fulfilling life outside the relationship makes you a more interesting person too!

It prevents possessiveness and keeps the conversations exciting, which is a win-win for everyone.

3. Engage in Activities, Hobbies, or Work That You Find Fulfilling

I know, I know, staying busy might sound counterintuitive when you’re missing your partner. But hear me out!

I used to overthink and spend hours just glued to my phone. Let’s just say that wasn’t exactly a recipe for happiness (or productivity!).

The real game-changer was when I started focusing on activities that filled me with joy.

Whether it was diving back into that sports training I neglected or finally joining that book club I’d been eyeing, having fulfilling pursuits outside the relationship did wonders. 

It gave me a sense of accomplishment and took my mind off the miles between us.


Make an effort to find things that light you up. It’ll benefit you and your partner and help keep the relationship interesting.

4. Practice Trust To Overcome Your Insecurity and Negative Thoughts

Overthinking in a relationship, LDR or not, can be a real brain bully.

It turns every unanswered text into a full-blown drama and makes you jump to conclusions faster than a frog in a hot pan.

For me, the turning point was realizing that most of my overthinking stemmed from trust issues.

So, I focused on building trust with my partner through open communication and keeping my promises, big or small.

The more we talked honestly and openly, the more secure I felt in our connection.

It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but over time, trust became the foundation that pushed those negative thoughts out of the way.

5. Utilize Different Forms of Communication Like Video Calls

Texting and calls are great, but they can’t replace seeing your partner’s face, right? That’s why video calling becomes even more critical in long-distance relationships.

Don’t get me wrong. Texting throughout the day to share funny memes or quick updates is awesome.

But you also can’t deny that there’s something about seeing your partner smile or hearing their laugh in real time that makes a huge difference.

Video calls help you feel more connected and engaged, and they’re way more fun than staring at a text bubble!

Of course, life gets busy, and video calls may not always be possible every single day. But scheduling regular video dates, even if it’s just for a quick catch-up, can make a world of difference.

6. Prioritize Meaningful, Quality Communication Over the Frequency of Contact

In the early days of my LDR, I fell into the trap of thinking more contact meant a stronger connection. Big mistake!

Constant texting can actually feel overwhelming and leave you with nothing interesting to talk about during your video calls.

The key, I learned, is prioritizing quality over quantity. Focus on having meaningful conversations where you truly connect.

Let your partner know you’re missing them, but also delve deeper – share your day, your long-term goals, and your anxieties.

Remember, physical presence isn’t the only way to feel close. Learn each other’s love languages and tailor your communication accordingly.

Figuring out what makes each other feel loved and understood is the recipe for a truly fulfilling connection, even across the miles.

7. Practice Relaxation Techniques Like Deep Breathing or Yoga

Relationships can be challenging. But long-distance ones? Those can make you feel like your brain is on overdrive.

For me, constantly thinking about my partner and the miles between us was what made it all so exhausting. That’s when I decided to practice mindfulness.

Simple things like taking deep breaths and doing yoga regularly did wonders for me. It helped me detach from those obsessive thoughts and appreciate the present moment.

Even if mindfulness isn’t your thing, find a relaxation technique that works for you. Maybe it’s meditation, journaling, or taking a long walk in nature.

The key is to find healthy ways to de-stress and give your overthinking mind a little break.

8. Plan Visits and Future Activities

Staring at a calendar filled with empty days isn’t exactly a recipe for a happy LDR.

For me, what worked was planning visits and future activities together. Suddenly, those empty squares had a purpose!

You don’t have to visit as often, but knowing there is a trip on the horizon gives you both something to look forward to.

Plus, planning visits in advance will help you create a sense of shared goals and a future together, despite the distance.

Doing this not only shows you’re invested in the long haul but also helps you stay connected.

9. Maintain a Healthy Perspective

Distance can test even the strongest relationships. Expect there to be misunderstandings, missed moments, and days when it all just feels overwhelming.

During those times, it’s important to maintain a healthy perspective.

As for me, instead of dwelling on the miles apart, I focused on the love and commitment that brought us together.

I reminded myself that strong relationships take work, and a little distance wouldn’t change that.

Sure, it wasn’t always easy, but by consciously choosing to think positively, I found I could weather the tough times and appreciate the good ones even more.


The best way to deal with a long-distance relationship is to maintain a positive outlook. It will help you solve relationship problems and focus on the love that binds you together.

10. Talk to Friends or Family About Your Feelings

In the thick of my overthinking, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of anxieties.

Fortunately, I realized the importance of having a support system outside the relationship.

Verbalizing my thoughts and feelings allowed me to gain a fresh perspective and reminded me of the strength of our bond.

And, let’s be honest, sometimes a good laugh about your crazy overthinking moments with loved ones is exactly what you need to feel lighter.

So, whenever you feel alone, don’t hesitate to get support and talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you’re feeling. They’re there for you!

Causes of Overthinking in Long-Distance Relationships

We’ve unpacked some powerful tips to tame the overthinking monster, but what exactly fuels these spirals in the first place?

Overthinking may stem from various factors. Here are some common culprits that might be whispering doubts in your ear:

  • The absence of physical closeness: Cuddling, holding hands, and other forms of physical intimacy release feel-good hormones that create a sense of connection. Without these, you might find your mind wandering and filling the void with negative thoughts.
  • Inconsistent or infrequent communication: To feel connected, relationships need a lot of communication. Otherwise, you may start overthinking and doubting the stability of your relationship.
  • Fear of drifting apart emotionally: When you’re not physically together, maintaining a strong emotional connection requires extra effort. The worry of losing that bond can lead to overthinking.
  • Seeing your partner engaging in a life that you’re not a part of: This can trigger feelings of jealousy and the fear of missing out or FOMO. You might overthink about your place in their life and whether you’re still a priority.
  • Previous experiences in relationships influencing your mindset: If you’ve been hurt by infidelity or neglect in the past, you might be more prone to questioning your partner’s loyalty. This can make you feel anxious and insecure, even with a trustworthy partner.
  • Personal anxiety or other mental health challenges: These issues can affect your emotional well-being, making it harder to maintain a balanced perspective and trust in the relationship.
  • Over-reliance on texts, emails, and social media: Without nonverbal cues like facial expressions or tone of voice, a simple text message can be misinterpreted. For example, if he doesn’t reply right away, you might find yourself creating unnecessary drama in your head.
  • Cultural or social differences: Overthinking can occur when there are differences in communication styles. For instance, a partner from a more reserved culture might not express affection as openly online.
  • Feeling like you have little control over the situation: This sense of helplessness can lead to overthinking as you try to grasp onto any certainty in an uncertain relationship dynamic.

As you can see, there are many reasons why overthinking can creep into your LDR.

But by setting clear expectations about how you’ll manage the distance together, you can build a stronger foundation of trust and security in your relationship.

You Can Always Keep the Romance Alive!

Long distance doesn’t have to spell the end of romance.

Remember, all the tips on how to stop overthinking in a long-distance relationship ultimately lead you back to connection.

Plan virtual dates, send thoughtful gifts, or whisper sweet nothings in a steamy (text-based) message.

By keeping the spark alive and prioritizing quality time together, even miles apart, you can prove that true love knows no distance!

Frequently Asked Questions

How can you stop yourself from overthinking when your partner is far away?

To stop yourself from overthinking, focus on activities that keep you busy and fulfilled. Recognize when you’re overthinking and remind yourself of the connection you share.

How do you avoid overanalyzing text messages and online communication with your partner?

Avoid overanalyzing texts and online communication by reminding yourself that written words can lack context. Trust your partner’s intentions and discuss any concerns openly.

What role does trust play in overcoming overthinking in a long-distance relationship?

In a long-distance relationship, trust helps you feel secure and reduces the need to question every action or word from your partner.

How can couples maintain intimacy and connection despite the physical distance?

Couples can maintain intimacy by embracing digital forms of intimacy, like sexting. Additionally, partners might consider online couples counseling to strengthen their connection.

Is it normal to have occasional doubts and worries in a long-distance relationship, or does it always indicate overthinking?

It’s normal to have doubts and worries in an LDR, but they don’t always indicate overthinking. Overthinking in relationships usually involves persistent, excessive worrying.

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