Make Every Man Want You, there are two things I want to make it clear about this wonderful book and how it empowered me to be better as a person and woman for my husband and everyone around me.
First, this book is not your typical dating book, you won’t find secret relationship rules or magic potion recipes that you can sprinkle over men so they love you more. Second, don’t let the title fools you, it’s beneficial for men as well, yes you Mr. Macho! It will open up your eyes to the must have qualities that you want in your woman and sail away from the drama that you don’t need.
Make Every Man Want You is all about connecting with yourself in becoming Miss Irresistible, scrub off all the men repelling personalities and breath in necessary habits that not only will make men love you but will make you love you too.
Marie Forleo is one of my favorite people to watch and learn from. Her insightful lessons are invaluable thoughts on self-improvement and personal growth, and they will for sure help you the way it helped me become a powerful, self-sufficient woman, and an enthusiastic, fulfilled person.
Here’s how I used this book to apply to my life.
Be Irresistible 101
It’s not all about the power suits and the killer hair – though a woman’s irresistible charms always shine on the surface, it is deep down underneath that we harness the power and energy to be seductive. Being irresistible hence implies so much more than physical attractiveness.
To make every man want you, you need to want yourself first. When you’re comfortable with yourself and able to spend time alone and with others, you’ll become desirable instantly to men and trust me I’m not lying.
With all my insecurities and self-doubts in the past, the one quality that I possess that my ex-boyfriend appreciated about me was that I can be with myself and have fun and not depend on him. Let me tell you why it’s so very important that you’re able to develop this irresistible secret.
When you can enjoy your own company, you are by definition less clingy and demanding toward your partner, it allows both of you to have a great time with each other but also apart.
Thus, you’re not emotionally depending on him or her to fulfill your day if your partner decides to have a night out with his or her friends. It’ll make you a stronger person and able to work through tough heartbreak compare to those who are emotionally invested in one person in a relationship.
To be the most irresistible woman, you need to be willing to be enthusiastic, alive and expressive, no matter the circumstances. Marie also urges you to embrace both your intelligence and your compassion – together, they make you an exceptional human being. Now, you understand why I said this book doesn’t just apply to women, my personal opinion.
5 Truths Every Irresistible Woman Needs to Know
Marie refutes false cultural myths that most women are being exposed to throughout their lives, handing you 5 bare truths that unearth secrets to happy relationships and high self-esteem.
1. The Relationship Will Not Save You
Thank you, Marie, for saying this, because this is what I have been telling my friends and family for years before I knew about this book. And, it all starts with clarification.
“You complete me” syndrome, Marie illustrates this with what she calls the Jerry Maguire effect, the very motif that teaches us that no woman is fulfilled without a man by her side.
Meanwhile, the truth is quite the opposite. It’s not until you learn to be your own “someone” that you can start building and enjoying romantic relationships.
Nothing can make you as secure and successful as you yourself can, so stop seeking completion elsewhere. Take action, invest in your irresistibility rather than insecurity, and realize just how capable of experiencing happiness you are.
2. Relationships Are Spiritual Opportunities, Not a Needs Exchange
The second misinterpretation of romantic involvement is that their only purpose is to fulfill our hopes and desires. If you’re “lucky” enough to find the person who does, and if that person finds in you exactly what they need in return, you’ve got yourself a partner for life.
We’re so quick to call this arrangement love, but in all honesty, it’s nothing of the sort. Loving relationships are never spurred from a needs exchange; what we keep on forgetting is that they are spiritual opportunities for personal evolution.
Never confuse your impulse to get away from yourself and take shelter from life’s harshest challenges for the sphere of intimacy and soulful expression that a true relationship is. Your partner shouldn’t indulge your self-destructive needs, but allow you to raise above who you are.
3. Life is Now – This Is It
If you’re like me, for how many years I lived with a nagging feeling that something is off? I know I want more but didn’t know how to go about getting it until I learned to be present and pay daily gratitude.
My husband always reminds me to be happy with what I have now and only then I can move forward.
Whether you realize it or not, this mentality has not only been feeding your hopes for a grander tomorrow but also your endless complaining about the present. And, you surely know that holding back is not a way to make every man want you.
Try letting it go! Carpe diem is a mantra of fulfilled people, be they, women or men. Irresistible ladies live in the moment, find excitement in spontaneity and passion, and flutter through life with their minds wide open. It’s what we call living in the present, and what makes us all relaxed and beautiful.
4. Men Are As-Is Merchandise, or Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em, Baby!
I always say, if you have to change the person so he or she can fit into your lifestyle then you might as well break it off because it won’t last.
“Fix-him thinking” is what follows shortly after you find a good man and start wishing he was perfect. It’s when you insist on tweaking his blemishes, gradually fixing and changing all those details that you fail to see the beautiful, authentic, and unique traits that they are.
You’re not perfect and nobody is, so why would you want to fix someone else to be so?
A friend of mine would invest in so much money on clothes for her partner so he can look like her best friend’s husband. I mean he isn’t a fashionable guy but what he wears represents who he is.
I believe we all have desirable values, we just have to be with someone who will appreciate that or be someone who would steer toward the person you want to be not to be like someone else they desire.
5. If You Want Guarantees in Love, You Don’t Want Love
Remember the proposal speech from Runaway Bride? It revolves around one crucial concept in love and relationships, the same one that Marie Forleo deems to be the fifth truth that all irresistible women need to know: guarantees.
The only thing that Richard Gere’s character guarantees to his newfound love is that there’ll be tough times. Nothing is ever permanent. Our romantic feelings certainly aren’t.
A woman who realizes that is ready to shake off all pretenses, relinquish trying to control another person and start enjoying the pure beauty of being able to love and be loved in return.
7 Habits of Highly Unattractive Women
There are many obstacles on your way to make every man want you, but seven among them are the greatest to overcome.
1. Neediness – The Ultimate Man Repeller
Let’s try to do right by our feminist trailblazers and nip all neediness in the bud. It’s truly the biggest turn-off that two people in a loving relationship can experience, so don’t allow your insecurities to get the better of you.
I remember what I said at the beginning, be comfortable with spending time with you and the feeling of neediness will disappear.
A needy woman does not only sabotage her innate power but also turn a devoted partner into an anxious over-performer. Men certainly like being needed, but your obsessive desires are not something they can or want to keep up with. Be self-sufficient and powerful, and nobody will ever be able to resist you.
2. Incessant Insecurity
The root to all of our neediness comes from insecurity and self-doubt. From incessant “Do I look fat in this?” to truly annoying “Do you still love me?” women with low self-esteem have a bad habit of unintentionally making themselves less attractive by believing that they are not worthy of their partner’s love.
And for most men, this is a true deal-breaker. Everyone feels a bit insecure now and then, but do your best not to indulge those feelings. Simply put, love yourself!
Marie recommends you to allow yourself to acknowledge negative thoughts, not resist them at any cost, and we agree. After all, it’s the only way of dealing with your demons in a healthy way.
3. Clueless Communicator
After neediness and low self-esteem come over-interpreting. You know exactly how this one goes – despite being more empathic than men, it seems that women have real trouble mastering the delicate art of communication in a relationship. Instead of simply listening, we often judge, analyze, and read into our partner’s words.
There’s an easy solution, though: the next time your Mr. Right speaks his mind, try to hear his words for what they actually are. You’ll need to silence your inner critic and step away from your perspective. Rather than simultaneously translating the things he’s trying to share, show him that you care.
4. Sloppy and Unkempt Appearance
Let’s be honest, I mean brutally honest. Yes, personality plays a big part in any relationship but you and I need to be realistic and admit that what makes the opposite sex attracts to us is the way we look and carry ourselves.
Besides, caring about your physical appearance isn’t only about looking gorgeous. At the same time, it is what makes you feel good, act confidently, and be irresistible. You already have a magnificent wit and intellectual power to change the world, so why not wrap it all up in an attractive package as well?
5. Hardened and Bitter Attitude
A stern look might be attractive in men, but it’s certainly less so in women. More often than not, it is a side-effect of repressed anger, a negative emotion you’ve shoving deep down under the surface, where it keeps boiling up and threatening to explode.
It may sound cliché, but “brighten up” is actually the best advice you can give to your bitter and disappointed self. Of course, you need to learn to accept and express your anger first – rather than avoiding the feeling, choose an appropriate moment to vent it out.
6. Catty and Critical
When fused with insecurities (and, it always is), jealousy compels you to become the worst possible version of your feminine self: a bad-mouther of attractive women. If you’ve ever done it, be honest with yourself and admit where all that cattiness is coming from.
Getting rid of this spiteful habit won’t just make any man want you, it will also allow you to see and appreciate the effort that every foxy lady puts into being herself. We’re all in this together, after all, and if you simply cannot but envy her charisma, do so on the inside and let it be motivation for your personal growth.
7. Boring in Bed
It’s sexy time talk, of course, but it’s not the topic itself that is steamy – it is Marie Forleo’s approach. To all reserved ladies, Forleo straightforwardly shouts that being boring in bed is a direct consequence of foolish insecurities.
Each body is a wonderland, and there’s absolutely nothing shameful about it. Fearlessness, flirty attitude and curiosity are all part of human sexuality, and only as such can it lead to a genuine intimate connection between two people. Release inhibitions, silence your thoughts and enjoy the beauty of giving and the pleasure of receiving.
8 Secrets of Attracting the Man for You
Now we’re talking, yes love them rules ladies because I did, some of them are not new to me but I’m glad Marie shared them with us.
1. To Hell with the Rules
Have you ever heard the saying “Study the classics, write your own rules”? It’s a popular one among literature buffs. It applies to everyday life, it means – always do the right thing, but never kill your spontaneity.
Rules are very restrictive in both life and relationships simply because you allow them to be. They are nothing but decisions you made about something in the past, so why ruin the present by enforcing them in an entirely separate moment?
In case you haven’t noticed, their birthplace is fear – the exact opposite of all that aliveness and open-mindedness that makes you so irresistible in the first place.
2. Trash Your Perfect Man Checklist
Yes, trash them, burn them, I don’t care what you do with it just don’t have it at all. Ever! It’s like a blindfold to prevent you from seeing all the great men who didn’t make the cut because you so focus on your list.
It took my girlfriends a few years to get it and it pains me to see so many good men passed her by and she kept ended up dating complete douchebags because he made her checklist. Thank god she passed this stage now but sometimes you cannot force a horse to drink water if it doesn’t want to.
Your perfect man checklist (I know most of you do) keeps you from opening yourself up for what’s truly out there. Throw it out and get excited about the men you meet; you’ll be surprised with how many intriguing human beings there are, awaiting love just like you.
3. When It’s Men vs. Women, Everyone Loses
Just like there is no Mr. Right, there is no real confrontation between men and women either. If you look carefully, you’ll find that the war of the sexes is a culturally imposed formula that benefits absolutely no one. Stop picking sides, and step beyond mediocre thinking.
Spend some time in a gentlemen’s company! It will surprise you to discover how all those stereotypes that we use to define men and women alike are actually a universal thing. There’s absolutely nothing to be protective of, so let’s stop emasculating our men and start enjoying how brilliant most of them are.
4. Your Parents Didn’t Screw You Up
Whether you blame all of your adult flaws on your parents having spoiled and smothered you, or make excuses for your current behavior on account of them leaving you with commitment issues, it’s important that you know that it wasn’t entirely your old folks’ fault.
Being a parent is so incredibly hard that we can’t even start naming all the complexities and demands that come along with raising a family. Even if they did something wrong, realize that their heart was in the right place, and that you are, after all, a fully grown woman who’s powerful enough to fix that.
5. Drop Your Story
There’s so many reasons to forget all about the things that happened in the past and that make you a person you are in the present, but getting stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy might just be the biggest one.
As long as you keep on stubbornly believing in your story and excluding any other perspective, you’ll never be able to make every man want you.
6. Quit Complaining and Start Engaging, or How and Where to Meet More Men than You Can Shake a Stick At
It’s as simple as that! Complaining takes a toll on your attractiveness, making you less irresistible on one side, and keeping you reserved and passive on the other. Thinking about how and when to meet an interesting man will hardly get you anywhere, so quit your own drama, go out, and have fun.
Don’t worry much about what to wear, how to start a conversation or where to put your hands. Engage in your environment instead, put all insecurities aside, stop being lost in your thoughts, and start relating to other people.
7. Get a Life and Keep It, or How to Keep Him Wanting More, More, More
One of the cruelest tricks we face upon entering a new exciting relationship is a concealed identity loss., think about this when you say “oh, he changes!, he wasn’t like that before”. He didn’t change, he becomes more of himself as the relationship gets more comfortable and he doesn’t need to impress you anymore.
As women, we either believe that loving soccer will make them love us more or we have no solid interests in life that would keep us from completely losing our personality.
What you fail to notice is that to make every many want you, you need to be a self-sufficient, actualized person. You are a woman, after all, not a girl, and thinking that men need someone to provide for and protect is yet another gender stereotype. Grow up to feel your power.
8. Perfect Package, or How to Be a Delicious, Scrumptious, Knock-His-Socks-Off, Take-Me-Home-Now Gorgeous Gal 24/7
How, indeed? It’s what every single woman wants to know, though not all of us will like Marie Forleo’s answer. Still, don’t confuse her perfect package recipe for something superficial – just like physical exercise and a museum pass, it is nothing but an investment in yourself.
Besides, no moisturizing cream or a piece of jewelry can take away your uniqueness. If anything else, all those “girly” and “sexists” stuff are about making your outer appearance a natural and irresistible extension of your inner fox. There’s a myriad of shades in the eye makeup kit, just pick your own.
I Love Myself
With so many truths and secrets unveiled, you simply owe it to yourself to find that Miss Irresistible that still hides within. Staying a truly alive, enthusiastic, powerful, and vulnerable woman is a liberating challenge to master, but it’s what you already are, and what can make any man want you.
Interested in Learning More? Get the book Make Every Man Want You