8 Truths You Need to Hear If You’re Struggling With a Breakup

Listen, I know breakups can feel like your world just fell off a cliff. You were probably fine-tuning your imaginary wedding playlist, and now you’re sitting on your bed, wrapped in a blanket like it’s a shield against the world.

But don’t get too comfy in that heartbreak cocoon, it’s time for some tough love. These aren’t the warm, fuzzy cliches that’ll tell you “time heals all wounds.” Nope. These are the wake-up calls you need to stop self-destructing and start getting back to you.

So here we go, the eight brutally honest reminders to help you move on with a little grace and your dignity mostly intact.

1. Stop Setting Your Own Heart on Fire Just to Keep the Relationship Warm

Look, we’ve all been there, holding on to a relationship that’s colder than last winter’s leftovers, hoping it’ll magically heat up again. Spoiler alert: it won’t.

If it wasn’t working with a thousand “second chances,” a breakup ritual, and a playlist of Adele’s entire discography, maybe it’s time to take the hint.

Stop setting yourself on fire just to keep the relationship warm. You deserve someone who brings their own fire, not someone who keeps running out of matches.

I once tried to fix a doomed relationship by becoming a “better version of myself.” Well, that version involved cooking fancy dinners, even though I hate cooking. He left anyway. So, cook for you, not for them!

2. Let Go and Don’t Let It Dragged You Along

I’m not kidding when I say holding on to a dead relationship is like dragging around an emotional corpse. Sure, you might think you’re “giving it your all,” but at some point, it’s less about “working things out” and more about refusing to accept reality.

Life’s got better things in store for you, but you won’t see them if you’re clinging to a ghost of what used to be.

3. You Can’t Make Them Love You, So Stop Sacrificing Your Happiness For Them

Picture this: you’re twisting yourself into a pretzel, sacrificing your time, energy, and peace of mind. Meanwhile, they’re watching TV, unfazed.

Love isn’t about flipping yourself inside out to fit someone’s preferences. If you have to change who you are to keep someone, they’re not your person. Plain and simple.

Can you believe that I once changed my whole playlist because a guy thought my taste in music was “too emo?” Well, he’s gone, but My Chemical Romance is still here, baby. Let them go, and keep your music preferences. Please!

4. Staying Single is 1000% Better Than Settling

You’re better off being single than with someone who makes you question your worth. I mean, think about it—do you really want to spend every day with someone who thinks “bare minimum” is a personality trait?

Being single lets you focus on building a life that you love, one that isn’t dependent on someone else’s approval or lackluster affection.

There was a time when I was so afraid of being single, I settled for a guy who didn’t even know my favorite color (it’s green, by the way). Now, I know being single is way better than explaining the basics of “thoughtfulness” to someone who’s just not that into you.

5. Healing is a Marathon, Not a Sprint, So Stop Timing Yourself

No, you don’t have to “move on” within a set timeframe, so stop comparing your progress to everyone else’s highlight reel.

Healing looks messy, sometimes it looks like endless re-runs of Friends and entire weekends in pajamas. That’s okay. Take all the time you need, but keep moving forward—even if it’s just an inch at a time.

6. Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to “Fix” Them

You’re not a therapist, nor are you running a rehab for emotionally unavailable adults. Falling into the trap of trying to “fix” someone is like signing up for a full-time job where the only pay is heartbreak.

If they have issues, they need to address them on their own. You can be supportive, but not at the expense of losing yourself.

7. Not Everyone is Meant to Stay, and That’s a Good Thing

Some people are in our lives for a reason and others? Just a season. Don’t feel guilty about letting go of someone who wasn’t meant to stick around forever.

They taught you what they needed to teach you, even if the lesson was “Never date someone who loves golf more than you.” Thank them for the lesson (in your mind, of course), and let them go.

8. They Can’t Be Everything You Want

At some point, you have to accept that you can’t squeeze orange juice from an apple. If they’re not giving you the love, attention, and respect you need, it’s not your job to stay and beg for it. No matter how badly you want someone to be right for you, if they’re just not it, don’t force it.

You know, I dated someone who refused to meet my friends and family. Major red flag, right? But I kept thinking, “If I just wait a little longer, they’ll come around.” They didn’t. The only thing that changed was my patience level.

Learn to walk away when they’re not stepping up.