7 Bold Moves To Stop Toxic People Getting Under Your Skin

Ever wish you could just not care what toxic people say?

Like, really brush it off and go about your day without replaying their comment 17 times in your head?

Yep! I’m with you.

I used to think I was just “too sensitive.” No really!

One snarky remark and I’d spiral for hours, overthinking, questioning myself, shrinking into guilt or shame.

Until I realized something: the problem wasn’t me.

The problem was allowing my narcissistic family, or narcissistic people in general, to get under my skin because I never learned how to protect myself.

If you’ve ever felt the sting of a backhanded comment or spent way too long trying to decode someone’s rudeness, this post is for you my friend!

These aren’t fluffy affirmations or “just ignore them” advice.

These are 7 bold, no-BS moves that helped me stop taking things personally from any narcissists in my life and start feeling like my calm, grounded self again.

Let’s get into it… because your peace is too expensive to keep giving away.

1. You’re Not Your Mistakes, So Stop Acting Like It

Let’s be honest, everyone screws up. You, me, your boss, your ex, even that friend who acts like she has her life perfectly together.

But when you grow up with toxic people who use every mistake as ammo against you, it’s easy to internalize the belief that messing up means you are messed up.

That your worth is tied to how perfectly you perform.

Here’s the truth: it’s not.

You are not your worst day, your cringiest moment, or that one thing you said when your brain short-circuited.

You are a whole human being with depth, growth, and a track record of surviving every awful day you’ve had so far.

Mistakes are how we learn. How we evolve.

The next time your inner critic pipes up, respond with: “Cool, I messed up.

Growth mode: ON.” Own it. Learn from it. But don’t wear it like a label. You’re way more than that.

2. Your Self-Worth is None of Their Business

Narcissists love to make your confidence feel like a crime.

The moment you start standing taller, setting boundaries, or speaking up for yourself, they throw shade:

But here’s what they don’t want you to realize: your self-worth isn’t theirs to define, regulate, or shrink. It’s yours.

When you measure your value based on other people’s comfort, you will always play small.

But the moment you decide that your self-worth is none of their business, everything shifts.

You stop needing permission to be proud of yourself. You stop apologizing for being confident. And suddenly, their approval or lack of it means absolutely nothing.

You are not here to shrink to fit into other people’s insecurities. Your worth is solid.

Let them be uncomfortable. Let them gossip. And while they’re busy projecting, you’ll be busy glowing.

3. Other People’s Rudeness is Just Their Emotional Vomit

Once upon a time, I would overanalyze every rude interaction from my narcissistic family members.

If my older, toxic sister snapped at me, I’d immediately wonder what I did wrong, what I said, or how I looked.

But here’s the deal: toxic people project their internal chaos onto whoever is closest and safest. Their rudeness? Nine times out of ten, it has nothing to do with you.

It’s just emotional vomit, and you’re not their bucket.

When narcissists are in pain, stressed, insecure, or just emotionally immature, they lash out. Not because you triggered something deep.

But because they don’t know how to manage their own emotions.

Your job isn’t to catch their mess and try to clean it up.

Your job is to dodge, detach, and keep your peace intact.

If narcissists lash out at you, take a breath and say to yourself, “Not mine.”

Let them keep their emotional chaos. You don’t have to carry it.

4. Constructive Criticism is a Free Upgrade, So Say Thanks!

Criticism used to make me sweat, especially from my narcissistic mother.

I’d take it personally, obsess over it, and read between every line like it was a secret code for “you suck.”

But not all feedback is an attack. In fact, the right kind of criticism is a gift, a free download to upgrade your mindset, habits, and impact.

The trick is learning to tell the difference. Constructive criticism helps you grow. It’s actionable, kind, and rooted in care.

Toxic criticism tears you down. It’s vague, biting, and rooted in control.

When narcissists gives you feedback, pause and ask yourself:

Does this feel empowering or shaming?

Is there something helpful here? If yes, use it. If not, hit delete.

Either way, it’s not about your worth; it’s about your growth.

The stronger you get at receiving feedback without attaching it to your identity, the more unstoppable you become.

Take what helps. Leave the rest.

5. Not Everything is About You, Narcissists Have Their Own Drama

Here’s a reality check that saved me a thousand spirals: people are way too busy thinking about themselves to obsess over you.

That weird look they gave you? They were probably thinking about lunch. The unanswered text? They were juggling 38 tabs in their brain.

But when you’ve been conditioned to over-function in relationships, it’s easy to think you caused every mood, silence, or shift in energy.

You didn’t. Narcissists are especially good at making you feel responsible for their chaos.

But don’t take the bait. If they’re distant, moody, or reactive, it’s about them. Always. The world doesn’t revolve around you, and that’s a relief.

You’re not responsible for their wounds, triggers, or emotional immaturity.

You’re responsible for your own energy, boundaries, and peace.

So next time your mind goes into “What did I do wrong?” mode, remind yourself: not everything is about you.

Sometimes people are just a hot mess.

6. You’re Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea, So Be Proud Of Your Sh*T

You could be the juiciest peach in the orchard, and someone out there still hates peaches. That’s life.

No matter how kind, smart, or self-aware you are, there will be people (especially narcissists) who misunderstand you, dislike you, or straight-up talk crap about you.

And that’s not a reflection of your worth, it’s a reflection of their preferences, biases, or projections.

When you try to please everyone, you lose yourself. I used to water myself down just to be “less much.” Less loud. Less opinionated. Less me, around my narcissistic sister.

But you know what? I’m done with that. If being too passionate, too direct, or too honest makes toxic people uncomfortable, they’re not my people.

Be proud of your fire. Be proud of your softness.

Be proud of your growth. Stop auditioning for narcissists’ approval.

The people who matter will love the real you.

The rest? Let them sip their bland tea while you go full espresso.

7. Step Outside Yourself and Get Some Fresh Perspective

When we’re in emotional chaos, everything feels bigger. It’s true!

One rude comment becomes a personal attack.

One ignored message becomes a whole rejection story.

That’s the thing about spirals: they start small and grow fast.

But here’s what I do now: I pause, step outside my own head, and ask: “If this were happening to my best friend, what would I say to her?” That question snaps me out of the spin.

It brings logic and compassion back into the room. Perspective is powerful. So is distance. When you zoom out, things get clearer.

That rude coworker? She’s rude to everyone. That toxic family member’s dig? It wasn’t even clever.

When you stop seeing yourself as the center of everyone’s reactions, you realize you have way more power than you think.

Take a breath. Zoom out.

Come back to yourself, the version of you that’s calm, clear, and doesn’t take the bait.

Here’s How I Can Help

If you’ve made it this far, you’re clearly done letting other people’s behavior run the show.

You want to stop overthinking every interaction, stop shrinking yourself to keep the peace, and start feeling like you actually have control over your life again.

That’s exactly why I created The Next Chapter, not some fluffy self-help thing, but a real, practical roadmap for rebuilding your confidence after years of toxic crap.

I built it for people like us, people who’ve been gaslit, guilt-tripped, dismissed, and are ready to finally breathe.

Inside, we dive deeper into boundaries, self-worth, and how to stay grounded even when toxic people try to pull you back into their chaos.

If you’re ready to stop reacting and start reclaiming your power, this is where it begins.

No pressure, just real growth, on your terms.