There is a quiet realization that comes when you get sick around certain people, one that lands softly but changes everything. How someone treats you when you are weak tells you far more than how they treat you when you are strong. Illness is supposed to invite care, softness, and protection. Yet in my narcissistic ... Read more
Narcissists are rarely dangerous because of what they say. They are dangerous because of what they never say. Silence can be curated just as carefully as words, and omission is often its most powerful form of control. For years, I believed clarity would eventually arrive in the form of a confession, an apology, or a ... Read more
Narcissists don’t choose randomly. There is a pattern to who gets pulled into their orbit and who somehow stays invisible to them. It often lands quietly, not as relief, but as shame, because the question that follows is rarely kind: “Why does this keep happening to me?” For years, I asked myself that same question ... Read more
Narcissists do not just hurt you. They drain you slowly, strategically, until you forget who you were before them. They do not take everything at once. They take it in increments until exhaustion masquerades as weakness. I remember the moment this truth landed in my body, not as an idea, but as a physical realization. ... Read more
Narcissists are not frightened by anger, confrontation, or even conflict. They are frightened by boundaries. For years, I believed power meant explaining myself better and defending my intentions more clearly. I thought finding the perfect combination of words would finally make my mother, sister, or brother understand me. I thought if I stayed calm enough, ... Read more
Escaping a narcissist is supposed to mean freedom, clarity, and peace. Yet one of the most disorienting experiences survivors report is finally getting out, only to find the narcissist waiting for them in their dreams. They appear uninvited when the body is most defenseless, and the mind has lowered its guard. Many women tell me ... Read more
Healing has a quiet requirement that no one really warns you about until you break it. Your steps have to move away from the person who harmed you, not toward them, no matter how reasonable the excuse sounds in the moment. I learned this slowly, in the spaces where loneliness softened my memory, and familiarity ... Read more
“Why do they hate me so much when all I ever tried to do was love them?” That question doesn’t arrive once. It loops. It shows up while you’re doing laundry, driving, or staring at a message you rewrote ten times because you’re terrified of sounding “wrong.” It’s the question survivors ask when kindness is ... Read more
From the outside, narcissists often look enviable, magnetic, and emotionally intact. They are surrounded by admiration and laughter that suggests warmth and connection. Yet behind that polished surface, there is a hollowness that becomes impossible to ignore once you’ve lived close enough to feel the chill. I grew up watching this contradiction play out in ... Read more
Narcissists can seem impossible to read. On the surface, they are charming, generous, or even “kind,” winning over friends, coworkers, and relatives with ease. Yet beneath that carefully constructed façade lies something far darker. Resentment, rage, and self-loathing are so deep that they fuel almost everything they do. Watching this can feel like trying to ... Read more
