Escaping a narcissist is supposed to mean freedom, clarity, and peace. Yet one of the most disorienting experiences survivors report is finally getting out, only to find the narcissist waiting for them in their dreams. They appear uninvited when the body is most defenseless, and the mind has lowered its guard. Many women tell me ... Read more
Healing has a quiet requirement that no one really warns you about until you break it. Your steps have to move away from the person who harmed you, not toward them, no matter how reasonable the excuse sounds in the moment. I learned this slowly, in the spaces where loneliness softened my memory, and familiarity ... Read more
“Why do they hate me so much when all I ever tried to do was love them?” That question doesn’t arrive once. It loops. It shows up while you’re doing laundry, driving, or staring at a message you rewrote ten times because you’re terrified of sounding “wrong.” It’s the question survivors ask when kindness is ... Read more
From the outside, narcissists often look enviable, magnetic, and emotionally intact. They are surrounded by admiration and laughter that suggests warmth and connection. Yet behind that polished surface, there is a hollowness that becomes impossible to ignore once you’ve lived close enough to feel the chill. I grew up watching this contradiction play out in ... Read more
Narcissists can seem impossible to read. On the surface, they are charming, generous, or even “kind,” winning over friends, coworkers, and relatives with ease. Yet beneath that carefully constructed façade lies something far darker. Resentment, rage, and self-loathing are so deep that they fuel almost everything they do. Watching this can feel like trying to ... Read more
Funerals are one of the rare moments in life where the noise is supposed to stop. Grief forces people into stillness, humility, and an unspoken agreement that this moment is not about ego, power, or performance. It’s about honoring a life that has ended and holding space for those left behind. And yet, some people ... Read more
The date feels incredible at first, almost suspiciously so, because the conversation flows effortlessly and the chemistry is intense. They seem deeply invested in getting to know you as a person in a way that feels flattering, validating, and rare. They lean in, ask thoughtful questions, remember details, and make you feel seen in ways ... Read more
Narcissists often appear untouchable, emotionally armored, and immune to consequence. What I learned after decades inside a family system built around one is that this appearance is an illusion maintained through control. They are not strong where it counts, and they are especially fragile when the structures that keep them powerful begin to dissolve. What ... Read more
There is a quiet truth many daughters carry for decades without language or permission. Not every mother is safe, and not every childhood was protected. Some of us grew up in homes where danger didn’t look like bruises or abandonment, but like a constant pressure to be someone else to be tolerated. We learned early ... Read more
After narcissistic abuse, there is a fear many survivors rarely say out loud: love itself starts to feel suspicious. Not just passion or chemistry, but kindness, calm, and consistency can trigger anxiety instead of relief. When chaos was your baseline, peace feels unfamiliar, and unfamiliar feels dangerous. I remember wanting connection again while silently wondering ... Read more
