I Love Being Alone [10 Benefits That Will Turn Your Frown Upside Down]

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I love being alone, itโ€™s an odd thing to say, donโ€™t you agree? Not everyone I talked to loves being in solitude. Weโ€™re creatures who love companies, whether itโ€™s family members, friends, or our partners, we seek human interaction, and being alone seems unnatural.

During one of my nights out with my girlfriends, while laughing I reached for my phone to check the time and one of my friends brought up an article that she read earlier in the day.

The article cited in the Atlantic magazine article, a 2014 study conducted at the University of Virginia showcased that a quarter of the women and two-thirds of all men who participated would rather choose to subject themselves to electric shock than to be alone with their thoughts.

Youโ€™ve heard it right, electric shocks. Really? That bad?

So I frowned at my friends, I meant, I love being alone and thereโ€™s nothing wrong with having some time to ourselves daily to reflect and to offer gratitude for what we have.

Though I was born to a family of three, I was left alone 90% of the time which is another story to talk about. Through loneliness, I developed a sense of independence and an understanding that you have to be ok to spend time with yourself and enjoy your own company so that you donโ€™t rush into a relationship to fill that emptiness.

You complete you! There are many amazing qualities that make you great and being able to spend time with yourself is one of them.

I hope this article will help you to open your mind and let go of the fear of spending some time with yourself.

Here are my 10 reasons why I absolutely adore my alone time, and the benefit of solitude.

1. Comfortable in Your Own Skin 

Most of us associate alone time with something bad. In the best-case scenario, loners like me are characterized as introverts; worst-case scenario, we are perceived as anti-social weirdos.

But, those who judge us often forget (or simply donโ€™t know) that solitude and loneliness are two very different things.

While loneliness is indeed terrifying โ€“ it is the horrid feeling of being rejected and unwanted by everyone around us โ€“ solitude is a truly exciting experience. More importantly, solitude is a choice. Itโ€™s being alone with your thoughts, immersed in your emotions, and comfortable in your own skin.

Psychologists call it the capacity to be alone. Once you develop it, you grow more independent. Thereโ€™s no anxiety, no burning desire for company, and no need for constant interaction.

For me (as Iโ€™m sure it will for you), being alone is a major confidence booster. The more independent I am, the less Iโ€™m willing to compromise my happiness for others.

I know my strengths and my weaknesses by heart, and for that, I appreciate and respect myself more. Thatโ€™s why my friend, I love being alone!

2. You Write Your Own Daily/Weekend Plan

Why Iโ€™m crazy enough to say to others that I love being alone?

Hmmmโ€ฆbecause I can do everything I like.

For most people I know, being alone is so scary exactly because they donโ€™t know who they are when nobodyโ€™s watching. They are not sure what they like, and they are clueless about what they need.

Initially, solitude allows you to be whoever you want to be. Itโ€™s only when you are by yourself that you have the time and the freedom to choose and experiment โ€“ thatโ€™s why creatives create alone, and why trailblazers travel without a companion.

By removing all distractions, solitude bolsters productivity.

In my experience, being alone is incredibly easy as long as you learn who you are and what youโ€™re aiming towards.

Isolation gives you a unique opportunity to be the sole decision-maker in your life, to set your own goals, and to achieve them at your own pace.

Also, itโ€™s incredibly fun. Youโ€™ll start doing things you actually enjoy and hanging out with people you actually admire.

The days and weekends you used to spend compromising with your friends and family will finally be entirely yours to party, learn, relax, and grow.

3. You May Have 99 Problems but Saying โ€œNOโ€ Isnโ€™t One of Them

I used to be a โ€œyesโ€ person. You know the type, Iโ€™m sure โ€“ itโ€™s someone who RSVP to every single social invitation only to end up miserable because theyโ€™d rather do something else.

Why do we all do this from time to time? Because weโ€™re afraid of loneliness and havenโ€™t yet experienced the virtue of solitude. If you say no to your best friends, theyโ€™ll get mad.

If you decline your colleagueโ€™s invitation, they will call you a wallflower. So, when avoiding is not an option, we accept.

And, if it just happens that you do that for three days in a row (as I did on Monday afternoon), you grow anxious, impatient, and snappy.

Stretch it for a whole week, and youโ€™re completely exhausted. Being a good friend is not easy, but trying to make someone happy all the time is emotionally draining.

The truth is, those who leave after you start saying no are not necessarily your friends.

Your friends are the people who respect your choice to fly solo every once in a while because theyโ€™ve experienced the virtue of solitude themselves.

Youโ€™ve got nothing spectacular to lose, so try and see what happens.

4. You Have Lots of Time for Self-Reflection

Hereโ€™s another reason why I love being alone that Iโ€™ve realized during my tea party for one: if I hadnโ€™t asked my friends to leave, I wouldnโ€™t have had time to think about why I said yes to yet another of our mindless chat sessions.

In that solitary hour that Iโ€™ve managed to steal for myself, I reflected more than I had in weeks before.

Being alone clarifies perceptions. In order to see something as it truly is, you need to remove yourself from the situation, allow your emotions to settle down, and spend some time processing the event.

Itโ€™s only outside of the context that you can genuinely perceive how that context has shaped you.

Experts suggest that we should spend at least 2 hours per week alone (which means roughly 17 minutes per day), self-reflecting.

You need to silence the background noise in order to hear your thoughts with clarity โ€“ as Iโ€™ve learned, that is the only way to get familiar with what you really want in life.

Follow the expert advice for a week or two, and youโ€™ll begin to understand that solitude is not a curse, but a gift. I promise youโ€™ll be less confused, and more determined. The times youโ€™ve second-guessed your decisions will be though, and youโ€™ll emerge more confident and ready to face any challenge.

5. Room for Self-Growth and Advancement

The capacity to be alone is self-strengthening, though not only in a spiritual way. Now, Iโ€™m not saying you should neglect your relationships, but you cannot deny that relationships sometimes tend to hold us back.

Instead of growing up alone as every person should, friends and family often need you to help them.

But, if you insist on your alone time and patiently explain to them why youโ€™ll earn some room for your own self-growth and advancement. However altruistic you may be, you have to help yourself before you can help others. Youโ€™ll be a great friend in a while, donโ€™t worry.

For now, you have to be a great you.

Donโ€™t answer your phone while youโ€™re at work. If youโ€™ve planned out an evening for yourself, donโ€™t cancel it because somebody needs you. When you keep putting other people in front of your professional and personal development, you only end up resenting them.

Trust me, Iโ€™ve been there.

The best thing about solitude is that you donโ€™t have to think about how your actions affect somebodyโ€™s feelings. If you want to go soul-searching in Tibet, you can.

If you want to pull out an all-nighter and sleep through the next day, you can. If thatโ€™s egotistic, then every self-growth is egotistic too.

6. You Are More Present with Others

Hereโ€™s your redemption: โ€œOnly if you find peace within yourself will you find the true connection with othersโ€. This is the quote from my favorite movie โ€œBefore Sunriseโ€, one of many I would never have seen if I allowed my husband to hog all of our time. Watching it alone made me realize how much I missed him.

And, thatโ€™s the whole point, after all. On one hand, embracing solitude will make you an independent person. On the other, though, the more time you spend on your own, the more youโ€™ll learn to appreciate the people you love.

Next time you meet them, youโ€™ll be genuinely excited and happy.

If sometimes you think your friends are boring, itโ€™s only because you see them all the time. If you feel your relationship is stuck in the rut, itโ€™s because you do everything together.

I could never understand why people find this so offensive when deep down inside we all know itโ€™s the truth.

Spend some time alone, and youโ€™ll be more present and attentive to the people you meet. Youโ€™ll learn something new about yourself, and youโ€™ll have something new to talk about.

Youโ€™ll get some time to relax and sleep, and youโ€™ll be eager to party with virtually everyone.

7. You Have More Intimate Deep Meaningful Conversations

The fact that I love being alone, though Iโ€™m a big believer in solitude, I also understand that itโ€™s hard for most.

But what I want you to know is that it will make you more patient and empathic. When I try to please all my friends all the time despite having dilemmas and problems of my own, I begin to lose interest in theirs.

I show up and I nod my head, but on the inside, Iโ€™m becoming less tolerant of their neediness. To be honest, we all do it.

Once again, this doesnโ€™t mean that you are a bad friend or an insensitive person. It only means that you have some issues to work through, and you donโ€™t need group therapy with your girlfriends in order to sort them out. The biggest victories are the ones we win alone, and soon your friends will realize that.

After youโ€™ve conquered all and grown into a confident and fulfilled person, consoling others will no longer be something that you have to do, but something that you want to do. Self-reflecting can be a painful experience; from that pain grow empathy and wisdom, both of which youโ€™ll be eager to share.

8. You Donโ€™t Answer to No One

How many times have you given up on something fun simply because explaining your decision to your friends, family or partner was too much of a drag? Even more importantly, how often do you allow them to influence those big, life-altering decisions that you have to make on your own?

Constantly being involved with other people, or relying on them too much will eventually put you in a position to choose between who you love and what you want to be. Even then, the choice will not be entirely yours โ€“ because, letโ€™s face it, choosing ourselves over others is considered selfish and cold.

So, I nipped it in the bud. I made it very clear that what I do in my spare time is not of anyoneโ€™s concern, and I advised my friends to try doing the same.

The result? For a long time, they mocked me for being a loner and a bookworm. They still do, in fact. The only difference is, I no longer take them seriously. Life is too precious to give power to othersโ€™ opinions.

While they judged me together, I worked alone. Now that Iโ€™ve accomplished what Iโ€™ve always wanted, I donโ€™t have to explain or defend myself, or to answer or apologize to anyone. Iโ€™m confident, successful, and happy, and I still love them for the meddling snoops that they are.

9. You Get More Sleep and More Rest

I donโ€™t know for you, but Iโ€™m already excited about all the good nightโ€™s sleep that youโ€™re going to have. Being constantly connected to other people can be mentally and emotionally demanding.

When I say I love being alone, I want to tell you that time gives you an opportunity to unwind from the usual drama and recharge your batteries.

Just think about it โ€“ not only will you be able to organize your own schedule, but youโ€™ll also be in a position to take a long, relaxing nap in the middle of the day. Thereโ€™ll be no one to rush your time for, no one to keep you awake, and no one to wake you up early in the morning.

10. Time to Heal Past Wound and Move on with Your New Lifestyle

Iโ€™ve been through a lot in my life, and most of them served as very priceless life lessons. What I learned and want you to learn along with me is that time heals everything but it only does it if you allow it to be part of your life.

Youโ€™ll get to catch a break from everything that has been going on with the world, but thatโ€™s not why alone time is so important. Please donโ€™t wait for life to give you a break โ€“ when days are gloomy like your mood, take the chance and seize it for yourself.

Loosen up, meditate, and have fun.

As you do so, the newly found peace will allow you to get in touch with your deepest emotions. Removed from the context, youโ€™ll finally be able to work through your issues from before and let them go in the name of a more exciting tomorrow.

Having a chance to heal old wounds and redesign your future is an opportunity like no other. Perhaps youโ€™ll go through heartache and pain, but youโ€™ll grow better and stronger.

My Final Thoughts on I Love Being Alone

Find your happy place and go there alone. Learn how to appreciate who you are and what you love. Iโ€™m not telling you not to be there for people you love and care for, Iโ€™m telling you to take some time for yourself and make sure not to overly compromise that youโ€™ll lose a sense of who you are as a person.

2 thoughts on “I Love Being Alone [10 Benefits That Will Turn Your Frown Upside Down]”

  1. Oh my gosh thank you for this beautiful essay on being alone and loving it. I am a big time loner and love it. I also love people in smaller increments. I grew up taking care of myself much of the time while my parents worked and socialized. They did take time to be with me and my brother and made that time special when they felt they could.

    Reply
    • Hi Valerie,

      Knowing how to be alone is the best way to increase your self-confidence and self-respect because it allows you to discover what you need for your life to shine!!

      Reply

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