We feel exactly what our mind tells us to feel, react, motivate and be happy. But how do we program it to give us that positive and inspiring fuel? It’s hard, that’s why only 2% of the world population can master it. They live fully, purposely and meaningfully. The secret is to know how to embrace yourself in the face of adversity.
I want to tell you that you are a wonderful, unrepeatable sum of your passions and flaws. You are messy and imperfect, and so beautifully weird. The things you resist are another’s lucky charms. You are unique in the universe, so embrace yourself and who the hell care what other thinks!
When life gets hard, do it firmly.
When others refuse you, do it even more so.
Nothing is as complicated as you might believe, it’s only the people that make it that way. Stay untouched by their own confusion, it doesn’t concern you. Whatever they say to dilute your happiness, and whatever they do to keep you afraid or unsure, it has nothing to do with who you are.
You are the demiurge of your own universe, the builder of your own world. No one’s entitled to tear down what you’ve built, or to make you question what you’ve planned out. Let their judgment slip down your walls, for life is already short enough.
This post is for anyone who believes in self-love, fight to find who they are and do the things that they have always dreamed of regardless of the circumstance that they are in.
I used to feel inadequate and alone until I decided to stop being a victim and redefined everything for myself and that was when freedom found me and happiness followed.
Here was what I did and I encourage to try if finding and loving yourself are on your priority list.
1. Have a Vision for Yourself
In order to get to know your you, you must get to know your why. The why is your life’s vision, the sum of experiences and accomplishments you want to achieve. The big difference between who you are and who others expect you to be. The life’s vision is the picture at large, however small and simple it is.
Try to define what truly matters to you, and don’t be afraid to dive deep and fly high.
The answer might surprise you, but that’s okay. There are no wrongs or rights here, after all, since nothing you envision is impossible. Only the visionless people believe in boundaries because they don’t believe in themselves.
Here’s what they miss out on: having a clear vision makes you determent and fearless; it gives meaning to an otherwise empty existence and enriches it with integrity and purpose. Not a single adversity can unhinge a person with a vision since the vision is bigger from any obstacle that comes their way.
Vision gives you focus, while both make you an aspiring human being. The moment you know what you aspire to, no person or circumstance can take that away.
You’re on a path to self-fulfillment, the goal that belittles all the pettiness. Embrace it and hold tight, for that’s the most precious thing in the world.
2. Give Credit to People Who Treat You Wrong
Life is a school without retreat, and every person you meet is a lesson to be mastered. The wisdom it teaches is invaluable – from relationships, you learn about the people, while from people you learn about yourself. Every experience is a gift to be cherished, be it good, bad, or ugly.
Whenever someone does you wrong, you’ve got two choices. The first is hate, and the other is everything but. Hate fills you with anger, but anger only weighs you down. Try understanding instead, since it may mean the difference between a wiser you and a happier them.
Only love leads to fulfillment, but you can never learn to love yourself and the world you’re a part of if you keep holding grudges. The person who’s hurt you has made you stronger, so forgive them and say your thanks. You’ve learned a good lesson the hard way, and now you’re ready for the worst.
3. Align Your Action with Your Goals
Staying dedicated to your life’s vision doesn’t make you less fun or spontaneous. On the contrary, it urges you to realign your priorities, and focus on what truly matters. Whatever path you choose, it will still have its little twists and turns, its short pit stops of utter pleasure-seeking and delight.
Though life truly is more about the journey and less about the destination, nothing is as easy as being led astray. If you decide to take a breather, that’s fine. But if you keep roaming about with no purpose or goal, the journey will never fulfill you, and the goal will remain unreachable.
Never stay for too long. Choose your turnings with care, and make sure that each leads you a step closer to where you want to be. Once your actions are aligned with your goal, every accomplished task will make the intermission sweeter.
Halfway through, you’ll realize that nothing tastes as good as the progress you’ve made.
4. Be Decisive
Embrace yourself now, and don’t wait for a second longer. The sooner you do it; the sooner you’ll find the happiness you deserve. Don’t contemplate, just act. If you take another minute to think about it, all of your decisiveness will wane. Hesitate, and you’ll miss another opportunity to shine.
Indecisiveness is nothing but the inability to make decisions. If the focus is lost, everything seems impossible. Allow for that to happen, and you’ll soon lose interest too. Instead of moving forward with excitement and enthusiasm, you’ll stay confined to the same place, forever unhappy.
Indecisiveness is fierce even if it only slows you down. The time you’ll lose trying to decide how to overcome the obstacle is irretrievably wasted, and so is your chance to achieve happiness. You’ve got it all planned out, so why linger on? Stay on your path, and keep your eyes on the prize.
For the sake of your happiness, never allow somebody else to make you doubt what you already know. Your decisions are your own to make, so keep the initiative and stay responsible. One obstacle after another, you’ll prove to yourself that the decisions you’ve made are the right ones.
5. Face Challenge Head On
Never say never, for the only thing you’re declining is your personal growth. Life consists of both the good and the bad, and the trick is that we cannot always tell them apart. If you retreat because you fear the worst, you might miss the chance to enjoy the best. Both ways, you’ll miss a chance to grow.
When you embrace the unknown as you embrace yourself, you’re opening a whole new world of possibilities. It might be scary, but you’ll prevail. Even if it breaks you down, the victory will be yours. The obstacle might still stand, but you’ll emerge stronger, wiser, and more determent.
Your confidence feeds on the challenges you face, so always say yes.
Attack your low self-esteem when it least expects you to. Laugh at the face of hardship, because you’ve got nothing to lose. Bite off more than you can chew, for that’s the only way to push your limits. The life is boundless outside of your comfort zone, so step out and grab it.
6. Know How to Use Your Time
“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.” – Harvey MacKay
Waste a minute of your time, and you lose not only the right to complain about not having it enough but also the possibility to earn more.
You don’t have to spend it all on work, don’t you know? A productive use of time is any leisure activity as well, as long as it makes you happy, but doesn’t hamper your progress. If basking in the sun helps you recharge your batteries and work faster, then that time is well spent.
The only time that is wasted is the one you spend hesitating and complaining, overthinking and beating yourself up. Even a second of that is a second that is stolen from your happiness, the second that you could have wasted away kissing in the rain, dancing in the moonlight, or laughing with your friends.
7. Understand What Your Priorities Are
Keep scrolling day after day, and you’ll see that nothing has changed. Keep procrastinating, and the train will pass you by.
Allow yourself to get distracted by the insignificant and the meaningless, and you might get stuck. Stay idle, but know that life won’t wait much longer.
Meanwhile, those with priorities will build cities and conquer empires. Real people live in the real world and have real priorities. Their friends, chats, and reactions are real too, and they enjoy their delicious food enough to forget to take a picture and click the share button.
As you reach down for your phone for another session of mindless social media mingling, think about your options. Will it make you smarter in any way? Will you take pleasure in it as much as you would do if you were somewhere in the open, with someone your love?
Procrastination is not a productive use of your time, just the same as empty conversations are not in any way a priority. To embrace yourself and create a vision for your life, you must see things for what they truly are and choose your priorities accordingly.
8. What Others Think About You, It’s None of Your Business
Embracing yourself is about accepting both the weak and the strong that resides within you. Learning to love you for who you are is a long and lonesome journey; you’ll have plenty to think and worry about as it is, so never allows yourself to be affected by other people’s opinion.
Besides, what others have to say doesn’t necessarily have a lot to do with your life. Our opinions are very subjective, regardless of whether or not our intentions are good. Always take other’s advice with a grain of salt, since what works for one person doesn’t work for another.
Being self-fulfilled goes hand in hand with being self-sufficient. You are a capable, smart person who’s in control of their own lives, so why would you dwell on any criticism or judgment that comes your way? Trust in your own reasoning instead, and everything will turn out just fine.
9. Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously Because Nobody Does
Life is a funny old joke, so laugh along. Never think too much about how you look or what to say, since that’s another waste of energy and time. The more comfortable in your skin you feel, the more beautiful you are. Wear the first thing you can find, put your smile on, and go out to play!
The happiest people are those who never take themselves too seriously.
Whenever you can, act silly. If you learn to laugh when life isn’t funny, your attitude will change for the better. A positive mindset is the most powerful shield against everything that’s wrong with the world, and the most powerful weapon when you have to fight for a happier life.
10. Believe that Good Things Will Happen Regardless of the Struggles
When all is said and done, always have faith. The life is full of uncertainties, after all, and you can never predict every outcome with precision. But, if you believe that good fortune will be on your side, the chances are high it will follow you to the end.
Stay hopeful, but work hard. If you keep looking on the bright side of life, your positive attitude will not only make your struggles easier to overcome, but it will also make you feel like a true winner. You’ll certainly fail to know and then, but that’s fine. Dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and try again.
Are You Ready to Embrace Yourself?
To embrace yourself might feel terrifying, but it’s the only way of getting to truly enjoy the person you are. It’s the first step toward an authentic life, and no life is more conscious, more beautiful, or more exciting.
Establish your identity, let go of what others think, and direct your attention forward.
And, every once in a while, do something that scares you.
“Life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump
Everyone has obstacles to overcome. Only those with faith in themselves can conquer anything that stands in the way, so embrace your reality and believe in your magic.
In case you’ve already forgotten, I’m here to remind you that you are the most enchanting, the most wonderful person in the universe. We all are.