The phrase that was used to silence me was supposed to make me feel safe. It never did. “Blood is thicker than water,” or “Family first.” I hate those words so much. I grew up hearing that line like it was scripture, quoted in family fights and carved into every guilt trip that followed me … Read more
If I had stayed silent, my toxic family would’ve called me loyal. I left, so they called me cruel. The first time I broke the unspoken rules of my family, I thought the ground would swallow me whole. I had done the unthinkable. I told the truth. Not just to myself, but loudly and publicly. … Read more
Letting go of my narcissistic family didn’t magically fix everything. I wish it did. It would make things a lot easier for me. But it gave me the space to finally start healing, on my terms. I didn’t walk out of that house and become whole overnight. What happened instead was quieter, slower, but far … Read more
I didn’t become strong by tolerating less. I became strong by finally refusing more. There was a day I sat on my bathroom floor, knees pulled to my chest, staring at the tiles that had heard more of my truth than any person ever had. That day, something inside me snapped. Not loudly. Not in … Read more
It usually starts with a phone call or a story passed down the grapevine. My mother, teary-eyed, sighing dramatically, telling everyone how I abandoned her. That she “gave me everything,” and now I’m just cold and ungrateful. The first time I heard it, I felt like I’d been punched in the chest. My stomach dropped. … Read more
Some people inherit heirlooms. I inherited responsibility for everyone’s emotional mess. Since I can remember, I wasn’t just a daughter or a sister. I was the fixer. The peacemaker. The shock absorber. While others had space to fall apart, I was expected to hold it all together. Their pain? Handed to me, not with words, … Read more
When I have finally cut off the person who made me resent my own blood, I have felt at peace, as if every scar from the past is finally starting to heal. Then, one of my relatives reached out to me through text. Is this a chance to reconcile perhaps? Do they finally see my … Read more
It wasn’t my ex’s smear campaign that broke me. It was my sister who believed it. That kind of betrayal doesn’t just sting, it scrapes something raw inside you. You’re standing there trying to make sense of what just happened, but all you can feel is that deep, nauseating twist in your gut. It’s not … Read more
The narcissistic family system wasn’t broken; it was designed exactly as intended, with you at the bottom holding everyone else up. I figured this out at 35, sitting on my couch, eight months pregnant, after learning my sister’s biggest betrayal that she consciously did. The golden child smiled. The enablers nodded. And I suddenly saw … Read more
I didn’t heal in therapy. I healed when I walked away from my dysfunctional and toxic family. For 6 months, I sat on couches across from a well-meaning therapist who taught me to “process” my mother’s cruelty and “understand” my sister’s betrayal. I learned fancy terms like “emotional dysregulation” and “trauma bonding.” I practiced breathing … Read more
