Happiness Comes from Within [How I Stopped Faking it]
A few weeks back, I was talking to my girlfriend Rita who just gave birth to her daughter, Brielle. Naturally, the topic of happiness came up. Rita and I live a very different life, being a mom has always been her dream and pursuing her career is the last thing on her mind. I’m the total opposite. Our friendship taught me that happiness comes from within and keep me extremely humble and grateful every day.
What I know is that some of us are lucky to form the right environment and habits where it gives us genuine happiness that we need. Sadly, for some, they are still lost and desperately trying to find life’s magic pill to solve all their problems.
Whether you accept it or not, life will throw you various surprises and it’s up to you to avoid it or grab it and throw it back. If you’re brave enough to face it, happiness is just around the corner waiting for you and simplicity will be part of your life effortlessly.
1. The Power of Purpose
We all search for our purpose in life, though not all of us truly understand what it means. Is it a religious concept? A spiritual fulfillment? A happy family encircled by a white fence? Or is it, in fact, our own footsteps in the sand, fleeting and unlike any others the ocean has seen?
Simply put, the purpose of life is each and none of these things. Yours is your own to discover and seek, devoting every last minute of your life to this unique, all-encompassing picture of who you long to become, and the picture of the change you want to make in the world.
A person who has a purpose in life, it can become a great obsession that pulls you into a desirable future. If you have a powerful purpose in life, it can pull you over all type of challenges. Have a list of purpose, it will give you an insight of how to achieve anything in your life.
Your purpose in life is the place at the end of the road and the road itself, both intended to help you spend the time that has been given to you in a truly conscious way.
The sooner you define the place you want to get to, the sooner you’ll let go of everything that’s been holding you back. A powerful purpose makes you pace fearlessly; at the same time, it is the action plan for the goals you want to achieve and the passion that drives you forward.
2. Self-Confidence Is a Skill, Not a Personality Trait
I used to be just like everyone else who wanted the goods without the bads. I just sat and wished to have a different past, to be happier, to travel more and have the same level of success like the people that I look up to. I was pathetic and not realized that my insecurities were eating me up inside.
Nobody’s born a gladiator, after all. Deep down, we’re all afraid and unconfident about our existence, and the only true difference between winners and quitters lays in overcoming our inherent insecurities. It’s self-confidence that makes us unstoppable, but it is a skill that has to be learned.
Just like happiness comes from within, the strength to proceed to fight for your dreams is self-taught. To gain self-confidence is to stop neglecting small daily discipline, it comes from feeling good about yourself.
At the end of the day, you should feel good about yourself of doing your best at work, at a meeting, and at home. Your level of self-confidence affects your mental health, your future and your psyche. It’s a willing to do whatever it takes to succeed at every opportunity life gives to you.
Applaud yourself for everything you achieve, and don’t be too harsh if you fail, for self-confidence comes from accepting both your limits and your strengths. Your psyche depends on it, so do your best to seize every opportunity you face without insecurity, but with belief in your own abilities instead.
3. Be an Enthusiast
90% comes from within you and 10% is what around you. Purpose and self-confidence create the enthusiast in your life. It’s genuine feeling that you have toward everyone around you.
Think and Grow Rich is a book that explores the amazing consequences of mixing enthusiasm with your work. Its author, Napoleon Hill, metaphorically explains the immense effect that this intense enjoyment or interest has on your entire life when he writes:
“Enthusiasm bears the same relationship to a human being that steam does to the locomotive – it is the vital moving force that impels action.”
It doesn’t get truer than that, really. I love that book and I think everyone should read it if improving how you feel about yourself and your surrounding are truly your priorities.
If purpose defines our ultimate goal in life, and self-confidence provides us with the strength of character we need in order to achieve it, then it’s enthusiasm that makes this journey not only easier but also incredibly fun.
Still, rare is the things that can make you a lifetime enthusiast. It’s something that you need to find within you – by discovering your passions, enjoying what you’ve earned, and being curious about what else you can accomplish, you’re becoming an optimistic, excited, and vigorous person.
Happiness comes from within because it’s on the inside where we decide who we actually are. Be careful as you make that decision, since it may mean the difference between holding back and moving forward. Do you wish to always be the same exact person as you are today, or are you eager to fly?
I hope your answer is the latter, we are born to learn, to grow and to be better than ourselves every day. That’s what living fully truly means.
Ultimately, your self-growth and personal improvement directly depend on this decision alone. It’s the one you make every single day, as you choose to bail on a challenging exam or to pass on the opportunity to participate in something new, something you feel you’re still unequipped to deal with.
But if you want to excel in life, continual learning is your only chance.
By obtaining new skills, you open yourself to a whole world of possibilities – you earn the chance to experience new things and allow them to change the way you perceive the world around you.
In fewer words, the more diverse your expertise is, the wider your mind is. Also, the sum of your skills is something that life coaches like to call the human capital, and according to some of the most successful people in the world, it is the source of both your personal and your professional fulfillment.
The biggest share of our life is being prepared, if you put in hard work, persevere and consistent with your actions, life will hand you over the reward.
What I noticed and soon realized that life will not be wasted on the lazy people. If you want to live a promising life, you will need to prepare for it. No one is lucky with their succeses, luck is prepartion meeting opportunities.
My question that I asked myself is – “How can I be better for the opportunity next year professionally and personally?”. It’s my personal guide to finding my purpose and to self-mastery. You and I need to be a better version of ourselves every day.
Though building the human capital is the only fool-proof method of equipping yourself for the difficulties that life throws your way. No success comes without a challenging trial, and you’ll only have more obstacles to overcome as you approach the end of your pursuit.
They say that life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans, but that certainly doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t keep preparing yourself for what’s about to come.
Preparation is the same as personal growth, but it’s also a mindset. It’s about accepting that life is unpredictable, but planning and realizing your dreams all the same. The first is unforeseen struggles with the external world, and the second is inner mechanisms for coping with them all.
You see, every inner movement is a step forward in the outer extension of your being – your everyday life.
As you grow purposeful, confident and resolute on the inside, you prepare for all kinds of external events. Be ready to take the good and the bad with the same stamina, and the life will reward you for it.
6. The Power of Self-Reliance
Say you’re standing at the top of the Eiffel’s Tower, your hand in hand of a person who’s crying the tears of joy. The sky is lit with stars, and the soft music plays below in a moment of absolute serenity.
It should make you all warm and peaceful on the inside, shouldn’t it? But it doesn’t, since the person you’re with has forgotten to tell you how beautiful you look tonight, and as expected, their tiny oversights have managed to ruin another perfect evening.
Though only a metaphor, this wonderful Paris night clearly depicts something that a vast number of us is guilty for – expecting somebody else to make us happy. But happiness never comes from the outside; it’s a special kind of fulfillment that we cannot sense until we stop being unhappy with who we are.
Instead of spending your life in search of the outer bliss, start practicing the power of self-reliance. Find out what makes you contended, ecstatic and alive on your own; the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll get to enjoy building a meaningful relationship with others.
My message to you is always relying on yourself first, don’t rely on others to succeed at something, to be happy or complete a job. Know everything before you pass over responsibility so you can fill in the gap in the absence of others.
This is something I always believe in, it will save you, my friends, a lot of headache and times if you understand this principle.
7. Your Image
Lead by examples, if others don’t see you as a leader, genuine, in charge and in control of your life, you will not get respect from anyone.
However, the most important thing is how you see yourself, the way you dress, the way you talk and the way you act. The person in the mirror is the ultimate importance.
How you feel on the inside have a decisive effect on how you feel in the company of your friends, family, and peers. Like happiness itself, the way you behave in social scenarios is determined deep down below.
There are two sides to your personal image – the one you choose to show in relation to other people, and the one you see in the mirror. Though most us of keeping them separate, it’s actually their balance that makes us the best possible version of ourselves.
Still, the unity of two comes from self-image. If you are a wonderful, pleasant and amicable person, but you don’t perceive yourself as such, these amazing qualities will hardly find their way to the surface.
That’s why self-esteem hides in the very core of your social persona, and why you should never stop working on it.
Once you learn to love your self-image, you start acting more confident and appearing more powerful. It’s when the people around you begin to notice the strengths you’ve been denying you have, and soon enough come to perceive you as the person of interest, control, and respectability.
Become a person of high value, of importance, of a strong integrity and principle.
You must be able to put together construct a plan that helps others to get over their life hurdles and challenges that are when you earn respect from your colleagues and family.
Thus developing a strong character to help others in solving problems and be honest with those you care for. Always do the right thing.
Throughout this article and also in my previous posts, I constantly mentioned how different challenges emerge after each new milestone in life but don’t expect them to stop even after you’ve accomplished most of your goals. As your old, unconfident self-becomes a person of value and importance, it’s time to start working on something entirely new – altruism.
Sadly, it’s a quality some successful people never develop. The climb to the top is a slippery one, and it’s very easy to lose your patience, generosity, and integrity along the way. The first time you notice that you’re becoming less empathic towards others, just remember that a top is a lonely place.
I work in the corporate long enough to know and see how many miserable people are constantly fighting over the power and never see the other side of the world where people with very little can be so fulfilled and happy. I stopped myself a long time ago from climbing the corporate ladder and focus on the priorities that keep my health in tact and my supporting system solid.
I have a very comfortable life but I never stop pushing myself to learn a new skill and grow professionally and personally. And that my friends should be your ultimate goals in life because nothing is as valuable as a well-rounded person full of knowledge to not only help others to solve problems but to make your life much simpler.
The power of purpose and high self-esteem, enthusiasm and altruism – what all of these traits come down to is self-discipline. Whatever you do in your life and wherever you want to go, the ability to remain focused on who you want to become is the most important quality of all.
I know it’s easy to give up on any project that you work so hard for but if you understand that only if you push through just a bit longer, the things that you are hoping will happen. I’ve been there and I understand exactly how you feel.
So, stop saying “I’ll do it later” instead “I’ll do it now”.
Don’t confuse it for a restrictive lifestyle, though. This is nothing but fear of the unknown and a consequence of low self-confidence. Self-discipline, on the other hand, means taking control over your life, frustrations, and insecurities, which is something you cannot do without the inner strength.
While self-criticism keeps holding you back, self-discipline moves you forward. It’s the power to stick to your decisions and follow them through, and a mindset that allows you to stay on the path you’ve chosen with no second-guessing and procrastination.
Stop leaving the things you can do today for tomorrow. Regardless of how hard it gets, say to yourself that adversities will make you a bigger and better person because they will. Keep pushing just a bit longer, for the doing is often more important than the outcome.
10. Demand Excellent Results from Yourself
If you want great things in life you must be willing to do hard work and put in hours to perform well and collect all the skills to succeed any task that you assign to yourself to overcome all the obstacles in life to get your destination.
If you want good health, you need to demand yourself to workout, no one is going to demand anything from you but you want to be excellent in your life, you must demand that of yourself and put in actions.
Nothing turns me off more than a person who complains about everything in their lives without attempting to even try.
Happiness comes from within, and so does your determination. There’s a saying that goes: “If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice”. No purpose can be achieved without hard work, so stay devoted to your goals and determined to reach them against all odds.
Here’s an effective little practice for you – whatever thought or idea pops into your head, put it into action. Do you want to see the world? Find out what it takes, outline the plan, and do your best to make it happen. Big dreams are the greatest propeller you have, but only if you visualize them as reality.
Nothing is so impossible, after all, but nothing will be served to you on a silver platter. If the excellence is what you seek, you need to find a way to drive yourself towards it, every day and every second of your life. Decide what you want, commit yourself to hard work, and be kind when you succeed.
Until then, here’s another inspiring quote to live by: “The purpose of life is a life of purpose”, as Robert Byrne so concisely puts. The peace and the power you want to accomplish are already inside of you, but you’ll hardly be able to harness them before you realize the greatest truths of all – that happiness comes from within.